Mommy is on bed rest this weekend

When I went to my doctors appointment on Friday they told me after looking at the ultrasound that the amniotic fluid is low for your brother. This weekend they put me on bed rest. They want to see if the fluid rises. Your daddy took you down to Mr. Sean's house so you could play at the farm. I'm so excited for you because daddy sent me photos of you playing and chasing the goats and you riding on a tractor and watching Mr. Sean feed the cows. How fun is that for a two-year-old?  

Carpet drawing

Today I had your haircut like a big boy and you look so grown up. You get so excited about getting a sucker that that is what motivates you to sit in the chair.  Once we got home and we were making dinner, I heard you say "carpet mommy" and you had been drawing with a dry erace marker on the carpet in the living room.  

Baby prep

We bought a little bedside bassinet that has little stars that light up on the ceiling and plays music -it has to baby owls also which the cat not down the other day so we've been playing with the baby owls the past couple of nights. Tonight I put the baby owls in the bassinet and put a blanket in there and told you to rock it. We sang twinkle twinkle little star and you were so sweet rocking the bassinet. 

My sweet boy

My aunt Bonnie left today after being here for a few days and I think I always get emotional when it's the end of things, especially when it relates to family. I was keeping it together but that I asked you to give me a hug and you gave me an extra long one. Part of me imagined that my dad was watching. I started crying if you noticed if you tap me on the back and said "it's OK" and said "sorry". Oh my heart 

Serious TV watching

New pajamas

Drawing

I attached a picture of what you want to me to draw for you tonight. 

You are my blessing

For one of your Christmas presents we decided that it would be fun to get you your big boy room so we could transition you out of the crib but also have some fun things for your new bedroom. We ended up getting a twin bed but are leaving the bed that was in there for a while because it's bigger and we can lay in there with you too. Sometimes after the holidays I tend to get a little blue because I had so much fun getting ready for it and wanting it to be special for everybody including you. Then I took the week after Christmas off so my schedule got a little messed up so my mind is just not in the same place where it normally is. Is nothing horrible -there's just a slight sadness there. I wish it wasn't there but it is. Yesterday I felt horrible so Nana came and watched two so I could sleep. Daddy left for two shows that are in North and South Carolina so he will be gone until next Sunday. 

One of the things I've been doing with you lately is when it's your bedtime or nap time, I lay in the bed with you until you fall asleep and then I leave. I know it's probably not a good idea but I want to savor the time with you before your brother gets here. Part of my sadness is this feeling that time slips out of my hands so quickly and you never get it back and the memories fade. I know it's some sort of paranoia. I think it's because I don't remember tons of things from my childhood and there aren't many videos of me growing up and I wish I could go back there sometimes. I love you so much and I love seeing who you are becoming and you are just so precious and sweet and loving. The selfish part of me doesn't want you to grow up but if I was really the best mommy -I would want you to grow and be a fine young man and get to see all the wonderful things that your life takes you. I'm sure part of it is having another boy soon- I'm worried that time will just go by so fast like everybody says and I don't want to take anything away from you. You are our first born and such a special gift that I really treasure every minute. It makes me happy to think that when your brother is your age that you both will be outside playing together and having so much fun. You love other kids so I think that you will really love having a companion here at the house. 

Today I was looking at your beautiful face when you fell sleep and thanking God for you my sweet boy. You make everything better!